“Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.” - Kyoko Escamilla
So, your girl is 20! TWENTY! How fast has time flown. I really thought it would be out of tradition not to share 20 life lessons on my 20th birthday. So here it goes.
Reminiscing back to ‘The Curve’, this remains one of the most important lessons I learn every year and it deepens to a higher dimension every time.
“Love yourself in every way possible. Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Mind, Body & Spirit. Love yourself and everything else that comes with you. Loving yourself honestly comes from within and it doesn't mean you disregard everyone around you and think of yourself in high esteem as compared to everyone; but it's about truly accepting yourself. Love yourself because you are more than ordinary. Do not get familiar with the words like normal, typical and habitual. You are special with distinctive features. There's so much to life than living mediocre or what seems okay. Don't be okay with the okay. Loving yourself can be a journey and voyage of self discovery.” – excerpt from the ‘The Curve’
Patience is one virtue that requires you to endure. It's simply waiting without complain; enduring hardships and discomfort without complain. I can't even lie to you, having patience has been one thing that I've worked on and I'm still working on. When I was younger, I could honestly say I was quite impatient and wanted things to happen just like that. However, once you grow older and experience life in all its dimensions, you learn about the importance of patience and waiting in faith.
Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is timing, it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” – Fulton J. Sheen
Don't you dare dim your light to make others feel comfortable
Please don’t deter yourself, your value or your work just because others feel uncomfortable and think you should be doing it another way.
Work Hard. Flourish. Stay sparkled up. Shine bright. (insert sparkle emoji)
No one has it easy
Yes, everyone goes through the thick and thin and unfortunately that’s just how life chooses to play its game. Nobody has it easy. Nobody has it easy in life. This has taught me how to relate to people and communicate in such a way that’s mindful and quite sincere. I understand and allow myself not to jump into conclusions, make assumptions about anyone's matter or entertain talk that's honestly not my business. Truth be told, no one’s business is your business.
"No one is without troubles, without personal hardships and genuine challenges. The fact may not be obvious because most people don't advertise their woes and heartaches. But nobody, not even the purest heart escapes life without suffering battle scars” - webs I resonate with
Dream Big. Pray, Plan, Execute. Succeed.
“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
“People shouldn’t stop growing, they should always challenge themselves. No matter what stage they are in life, people shouldn’t stop dreaming. They should thrive on.” – Idris Elba
Things will come at the right time
I am one to watch documentaries, videos and read about people who inspire me, those who have achieved and those who have reached a level of “success” in my eyes. One thing most of them will talk about is timing; things happening at the right time. They express how working hard and creating genuinely will pay off at the right time. Work hard loving what you do, be persistent, determined, consistent and gracefully allowing patience to order all things. At the right time, magic will happen.
So fam chill, your hard work will pay off.
Success doesn’t fall on your lap
My people! The road to success isn’t easy. Success won’t come easy. So if you’re not ready to go on that journey, take several seats. Simple!
You Don’t need to feel apart of the part
This is where it travels back to the high school/college movie vibes and stupidity of the need to fit in and trying to be apart of the part. You need to understand that fitting in looses authenticity and uniqueness. You literally leave what you have to offer in order to feed into something that’s truly not you. So I’m saying,
“If you ain’t apart of the part, honey don’t be stressing, just get the stepping into your own greatness. Authenticity is what makes you sparkle and what really sets you apart.”
Follow One Course Until Successful. Train your mind to pay attention to what's really important. Be the go getter that you dream off. Grind.
Embrace the past and live in the moment
I’m still on this journey of living and feeling in the moment. Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s difficult to accept and embrace our past. Mentally processing and acknowledging what you’ve experienced is not an easy thing to do; moreover, telling yourself to embrace it all in gladness. With that being said, we need to acknowledge, accept and embrace the past in order to grow. These experiences shape and make us who are. Embrace how you feel when you feel but discern which feelings that need not to control you.
Stay calm in the storm. I know… it’s easier said than done.
VHCP - Vision. Hard work. Consistency. Patience
This is like my overall anthem, my mantra and yet again I’m reiterating what was stated in the Curve.
Vision - Define objectives that are fundamental in directing and achieving your end goal. Write your vision and work hard at it for it to manifest at the right time. Don't expect people to understand your mission when the creator didn't give them your vision. Your vision, your mission.
Hard work - Get to work using your network to create artworks
Consistency - No one ever becomes successful without consistency. Say it out loud if you have to - "I am committing to writing and posting a blogpost every week". "I will be going to the gym 4 times a week". If you want to stay consistent with your actions, stay consistent with your thinking. Keep going because quitting won't produce results.
Patience - When you pray for patience God doesn't give you patience but gives you the opportunity to be patient.
Man dey go talk (people will talk)
Whether you like it or not, you’ll be talked about; both positive and negative. This shouldn’t even be news to you. Period.
It’s okay to protect your energy
Your energy is as important as the energy exuding from others around you. I constantly hear conversations about people being about and being around positives vibes and I am totally for that. The energy you directly or indirectly received from others is capable to uplift you and can also dim your spirit. You just can’t flourish in an environment where negative energy emanates. Be mindful.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail
Plan, plan and plan. It's quite self explanatory; if you don't plan you're planning to fail. In regards to your plans, it must be S.M.A.R.T - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Also make it a habit to put your plans unto paper or type them up somewhere. It will become handy someday. I once learnt that the shortest pencil is better then the longest memory. – excerpt from the Curve.
Stay true to oneself
Don't change who you are for approval from others. Be true to who you are. Be true to the complexities of life although sometimes that can be difficult to embrace.
Picture a future and stop dwelling on yesterday’s mistake, sorrow and misfortune. You just have to realise that you can't change the past; you only have control to create your future to a certain degree. It's quite crucial to move on accepting changes and gradually looking forward to what’s to yet come. For we shouldn’t look back and hope “If only this had happened” because we can’t change the pass. We should look back to learn from our experiences in order to become better versions of ourselves.
Don’t be afraid to fail
I believe not everyone gets it right or “perfect” on the first go. Explore and take your chances. And Michael Jordan couldn’t have said it any better (speaking like I know him personally…)
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
Learn to forgive. Learn to forgive even if it hurts deeply. Don’t be hard on yourself; Forgiveness starts with you and is for you.
"Be strong enough to let go and patience enough to wait for what you deserve” – webs I resonate with
It's all the journey
The journey in itself is valuable. No two are alike; just like you and me. The journey enables you to grow, change and come to terms with who and what you are. The journey allows you to experience, know and learn to love who and what you are. You experience things you don't dream off and ones you dream to happen in a heartbeat. However life goes, your walk the journey. Embrace it.
Be thankful always
Gratitude and thankfulness is something that needs to be exhibited in our daily lives. Giving thanks and expressing gratitude is much easier when we reflect on all the good in your lives; but to be thankful in the midst of hardships is tremendously difficult. Whether you're in the high or low stages of life, be thankful always.
Be in touch with the Father and give thanks always.
"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Now, it’s your turn! What's one lesson you've learn't so far in 2017